Note From My Journal - September 30, 2012
It's Sunday morning (September 30, 2012). I am sitting at the beach on the deck listening to the ocean and reading and reflecting on the Word of God. It's been an interesting week this past week. So many things have happened; so many things are changing. However, one thing does not and that is the Word of God. What He has said to me this morning is the truth - I can only live today and He will take care of me today. I can trust Him to be here today and in the eternal life. He is already there. It makes me think of my mother. She is not long for this earth. I'm sad about that; but I trust that God is with her and that He will lead her, in His time, to His place to be with Him. I can only believe that He has a plan for her; that there is a reason all of this has happened. I feel as though God left her here these past months so me and my sister could have time (to heal past hurts; to see her be the open, expressive mother we wanted-although she was some times too much!!); that daddy needed just a little more time with his girl. I feel at peace with the decisions we, as a family, have made with mom's healthcare decisions, and I feel that God has given us all a sense of peace and rightness about this situation. I am in a trusting place with the Lord and that is the only and best place to be.
This was what I had written in my personal journal exactly one day before my mother passed away. It was the true then and true now. I am in a trusting place with the Lord and it is the only and best place to be.
My mother faced her passing with courage and integrity. She was scared I am sure; but she knew she could trust God and that He would take her exactly where she needed to be. The very last things she said to me spoke to me deeply. She asked me to make sure she wore her suit from my sister's wedding in June at her funeral. She was preparing to go home. She told me how much she loved me as we sat and watched one last game show together and she told she would try to wait until I got back from vacation before she had to leave us. I was moved to tears as we kissed each other and hugged before I left for my trip. She knew it was almost over and in my heart so did I. She would not suffer much longer.
Of course, she never liked it when I went out of town . . . and that Monday, October 1, 2012, she went home and so did I.
This was what I had written in my personal journal exactly one day before my mother passed away. It was the true then and true now. I am in a trusting place with the Lord and it is the only and best place to be.
My mother faced her passing with courage and integrity. She was scared I am sure; but she knew she could trust God and that He would take her exactly where she needed to be. The very last things she said to me spoke to me deeply. She asked me to make sure she wore her suit from my sister's wedding in June at her funeral. She was preparing to go home. She told me how much she loved me as we sat and watched one last game show together and she told she would try to wait until I got back from vacation before she had to leave us. I was moved to tears as we kissed each other and hugged before I left for my trip. She knew it was almost over and in my heart so did I. She would not suffer much longer.
Of course, she never liked it when I went out of town . . . and that Monday, October 1, 2012, she went home and so did I.
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